Into the Fire
by thirtygoingon
Summary: In the end, all it took was a night out with drinks and friends. But can they pick up enough of the pieces in the aftermath to make a whole? Wall breaker, three parter.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note:** _It's been a very long time since I wrote anything besides emails and reports, and it's not quite like riding a bike - this seemed to take me forever, and that was before the endless tweaking and then the inevitable loss of perspective so now I don't know how it reads at all anymore. But it's been addictive, and maybe in time the rust will fall off. Anyway. I hope this is enjoyable. Please let me know, good or bad!_

* * *

><p><strong>INTO THE FIRE<strong>

It had been a long day. It began at 5.30am with a call out to the scene of what turned out to be a fairly simple murder-suicide, and then overlapped an ongoing investigation into what Beckett and her team suspected to be an honor killing. The new case, whilst being open and shut, was a sad one. The uncomplicated ones usually were, as there were no odd clues, conspiracies or missing body parts to distract from the ultimate fact that someone who was loved had died. In this case, there was a note that explained that the victim could no longer go on watching his wife die a slow death from MS but couldn't live without her either. Meanwhile, Beckett's ongoing investigation into the killing of a 17 year old who was about to be forced into an arranged marriage was slow moving. The community had shut down in the face of any questioning, so they were currently involved in a two pronged approach of building trust with one or two individuals who were most likely to spill, and looking at more lateral routes to the proof they needed. The combined effort of grinding away at one case and starting and ending the other in one day meant everyone was tired and eager to get away from the precinct that night.

Beckett was just finishing off the write up of the assisted suicide case - carefully ignoring the stack of other investigations which also needed reports completing - when Castle dropped into his chair beside her. He leaned on his elbow, moving right into her personal space and looked directly at her with the fixed stare of a bored child. She'd been waiting for this 'are we nearly there yet?' moment for about an hour, and although he was in her way and so slowing down progress, she couldn't help but let a small smile escape.

"Castle."

He stared some more. Pointedly.

"Castle, I have ONE more form."

"Do it tomorrow."

"No, if I do it now then it's done. It'll take five minutes." She looked up at him. "If you get out of my way."

He mimicked falling asleep, his head slipping from his hand as his elbow slid across the desk. There might have been a pretend snort as if he'd 'woken up'. She carried on writing, smirking a little in a way that betrayed the fact she sort of wished she didn't find it funny.

"Fine. You're still coming though, right? Esposito doesn't turn 34 every day, you know. Apart from the fact he did 3 days ago and didn't tell us, so I think this should now be his real birthday. Or unbirthday. Like the Mad Hatter. From Alice In Wonderland? The Mad Hatter! Oh! I should buy him a top hat! And a teapot!"

He had leaned in closer again in his enthusiasm for his secret gift plot, speaking in an exaggerated stage whisper so as not to arose the suspicions of Detective Esposito. Who wasn't even in the room.

"Castle."

He sat back.

"Yup."

Twiddled his thumbs.

Esposito walked past, returning from the locker room. Castle raised a hand in a high five, which was ignored.

"Beckett. Joining us at the Old Haunt?"

"Sure. One minute, just want to... get... this... signed. There. Done!" She put her pen down with a satisfied click and shuffled the papers into a messy pile which were then shoved into a folder and put in her previously empty out tray. "Let me grab my coat."

"Got it!" Castle whipped her leather jacket out from behind him and stood up, holding it open for her to slip into. She let him slide it onto her shoulders and pulled her hair out of the way with a shake of her head. Castle tried not to inhale too obviously. He reached for the back of her neck where he had seen a flash of white, as she started to turn around. She looked at him in mild surprise.

"Label."

"Oh. Thanks."

Esposito lead them out, calling behind him, "Let's get out of here. RYAN! C'mon bro, you're getting the first round, right?"

* * *

><p>"Castle. Hey, Castle. Castle! Stop it!" Kate grabbed the back of Castle's shirt and pulled him back from the open elevator doors. She tried not to giggle. He moved back, nearly treading on her foot, and moved to one side of her in a slightly wobbly fashion.<p>

"Ok. Shhhh. Shhh." He raised a finger to his lips, paused for a moment as the elevator doors closed again, then looked at her and dissolved into giggles himself.

"Your neighbours are going to be mad and you know what happens when they get mad? They call the police, and they complain. And... and...", she'd lost the thread of her point somewhere. "...And I'M the police!"

"Ok. I'm sorry. You ARE the police. Oh, oh, does this mean I'm a bad boy? Will you have to..." he leaned into her, "punish me?"

"Wow, Castle, you could light fires with that breath." Kate fanned the air between them, turning her head away as he stood back and leaned against the wall, still smiling. The doors pinged open on his floor at that exact moment. It suddenly seemed like quite an effort to transfer the momentum of his body from leaning back to leaning forward in order to walk.

"C'mon Castle, this is your floor." She reached out and grabbed both his hands, pulling him towards her, moving to his side as he got going. She was sort of enjoying her role looking out for him, especially as it was in a much more entertaining situation than one involving guns and hardened criminals. She was pretty sure he hadn't intended to drink as much as he did, and to be fair he wasn't anything like as bad as Esposito was when they left. Castle was more 'merry' than full out drunk, and apparently that included behaving like a child even more than usual, hitting every button in the elevator then leaning out of the doors on each level and shouting greetings. She kept a hand on his arm as they walked down the hallway to the front door, in case his balance wasn't quite up to the job. Not because her head was a little bit light too, or because she quite liked the feel of his arm beneath her palm.

The truth was, she thought as she watched Castle check three pockets before locating his keys, she hadn't had such a good night in some time. She'd forgotten how much she enjoyed spending time with her colleagues - her friends - doing nothing more than having a drink and talking increasing amounts of garbage. Tonight's garbage had been spectacular. Out of nowhere, Ryan had asked the question: 'If you HAD to make love you an animal, which one would it be?' Kate nearly laughed out loud again just thinking of it, and the expression on Esposito's face, before they'd all found themselves seriously considering the options. They were good guys. Good friends. She wondered for a moment how some people could just work in an office cubicle all day, with bitchy coworkers and miserables bosses, and not care about the fact they spent more hours there with those people than anyone else.

The door swung open, pulling her away from her thoughts, and Castle gestured for her to go in before him. She did, seeing the empty but familiar apartment in front of her, the lights left on low. She glanced back, remembering she was keeping an eye on her boozy partner, but kept waking towards the inviting couch as she saw him shut the door and hang his coat with only one miss of the peg. He headed towards the couch too, still wearing the same grin from the elevator, and she stayed standing, catching a hand as he mis-timed his approach and walked into the base a little. He swung round using her hand for balance and sat.

"I meant to do that," he said, still holding her hand.

She looked at him, amused.

"I'm going to get you a glass of water."

He leaned back into the couch and smiled some more.

Kate walked to the kitchen and got a glass from one of the cabinets and ran the tap, filling it slightly too quickly so there was a moment of spray. Her top got wet, but she didn't really care. She glanced at Castle, who was resting his head on the back of the couch, still smiling but with his eyes closed.

"Here we go." She handed him the glass and dropped down next to him, leaning her elbows forward on her knees. "How're you feeling?"

He looked at her from his rested position, "Oh, Kate, Kate, Kate. I'm fine. Just fine. Thank you. And thank you."

"For what?"

"For looking after me tonight. Getting me home. It's very sweet, you know. You're very sweet."

Kate smiled.

"And thank you for letting me play cops and robbers with you."

"Well, Castle, I can't deny you've had your moments too. Drink your water, it'll stop you getting a headache tomorrow."

"Oh I don't think drinking the contents of the Hudson would stop me getting a headache now. But I'm pretty sure," he patted Kate's thigh with one hand, absentmindedly, "that I am not going to be the one with the worst headache. In fact, I imagine the birthday boy is drunk dialling Lanie right at this... very... moment." He tapped at his watch and nodded at her mock solemnly. Kate laughed, leaning back into the leather and letting her head rest on the top as Castle had moments before.

"Oh, he was most definitely further gone than you. Tell me, wise one, at what time tomorrow morning should I expect him to call in sick?"

Castle, resting his head back again next to hers, turned slightly to look her in the eye and then brought his fingers to his temples. "Ommm," he said, closing his eyes in meditation. Kate lifted an arm and slapped at his side, laughing again. He opened his eyes when she touched him and turned his head to hers, smiling. She looked back, her eyes sparkling with her own smile. They stayed that way for a moment, till she broke the look and looked at her hands although the upturned corners of her mouth remained.

"You had a good time tonight." He said it more of a statement than question.

"I did. It was... nice."

His eyes hadn't moved from her face. She looked even more beautiful than normal, her hair down around her face framing it with dark waves which had escaped the style that she'd arrived at work with that morning. Her eyes danced. She looked a little like a fifties movie star that the director had used a soft filter on, to give her a silky glow in a quiet scene with the male lead. She looked so... relaxed. When he was stone cold sober there were times he couldn't drag his eyes away from her, so there was no hope of hiding his visual caress tonight.

"It feels like it's been a long time since I've been out and let my hair down. I... I wasn't really sure if... I wanted to. Or if it was something I was able to do."

She leaned back again, and Castle raised his head a little, turning to face her. She glanced at him, quietly.

"After Montgomery, and the... shooting. And everything with my mother's case. It didn't feel right having fun, somehow."

Castle opened his mouth.

"I know, I know," she silenced him before he'd had a chance to say anything. "But that doesn't stop me feeling it."

He closed his mouth again, as did she. It was a valid point. He raised one of his arms that had been over the back of the couch and touched her back lightly, gently, just feeling the slight brush of her hair. He hoped a touch said more than his mouth was capable of at that moment. She turned a little, so her position mirrored his, and looked straight at him. His hand didn't move as she turned, so it ended up on her shoulder, his fingers in the lower curls of her hair. He wiggled them a little. It felt nice. Soft.

"Castle, I need to tell you something. I want to tell you that I'm sorry. And I want to thank you."

He raised his eyebrows. He didn't know what he'd expected, but it wasn't that exactly. She took a breath, a bit surprised at how easy it was to say. The pillow of beer around her heart and mind must have offered a helping hand.

"Thank you for being there... and waiting."

As she spoke, their eyes never leaving each other, the warmth from his hand moved to the side of her neck, stroking the skin ever so slightly under his fingertips. She saw in his face it was something he was barely even aware he was doing. It wasn't a move. It was affection. She felt it, but it seemed right. Normal. So she didn't pay it much attention as she tried to focus on what she wanted to say. But the words, despite not resisting being spoken, were not forming as smoothly in her brain.

"I'm still seeing someone. A therapist. And it's-"

She was interrupted. Interrupted by Castle's hand sliding up, cupping the side of her face, one thumb stroking at the skin by her ear. Interrupted by the movement of Castle's other arm, which came round the outside of her, palm pressing flat into the leather. Interrupted when his weight shifted so close to her, his chest, shoulders, face coming nearer in what felt like slow motion but must have happened in mere seconds.

Her lips were still slightly parted, her sentence unfinished, and although he wouldn't want her to think he wasn't listening or didn't care about the fact she'd said things that were of significance to the both of them, he couldn't resist anymore. The courage he'd never quite found before to complete a moment they'd shared, a feeling that neither could deny they felt - not just inside themselves, but in the air between them - was suddenly there. Perhaps he could thank the final glass of Scotch, but he didn't feel his judgement was clouded at all. On the contrary, he felt he knew clearer than ever before what he needed to do. To be the one to slide the first brick from the wall.

Their lips met with force, not aggressive but magnetic. Kate's eyes blinked once before sliding closed, all thoughts gone from her mind in a flash. All she could focus on was the warmth, the softness, the slight magic tingle of the connection. It was slow and smooth, feeling each other out, no thoughts, just instincts. Time slipped by; it could have been seconds, minutes, hours. His hand moved up into her hair as hers slid to his thigh, balancing her weight as she leaned in but the slight squeeze of her fingertips betraying it as more than just a practical transition. He felt the pressure on his leg and between her touch and the smokey velvet of her mouth, he couldn't stop a low, quiet moan of realisation and desire. He pushed her further, his mouth reaching at hers, harder and longer, testing her with more pressure. The thrill kicked in even higher when she pushed back, her strength catching him out as her weight shifted forward, moving him back so she suddenly dominated him, taking over his mouth at the same time. He had no time to react as her hand slid up his leg and under the loose edge of his shirt, skin meeting skin. The heat and the tiniest dig of fingernails into his bare flesh baited something primal but also awoke seventeen years of parenthood in him - they must move somewhere more private - and he thrust forward and upward, seizing back power. His palms under her elbows, he lifted her from the couch, from her feet in one motion till they both stood. Their lips ripped apart for a moment, and she looked into his eyes as her own flickered a second of understanding and wonder, and an even shorter twitch of doubt. Any threat of a moment's contemplation was completely overpowered by her sudden and unexpected arousal at someone else taking charge, him not being afraid to handle her, move her around as he desired with no warning - it was exciting, to realise that not only did she enjoy this alpha male behaviour, but that he acted on tendencies she didn't know he had. Barely divided, they pressed still tighter together, removing any hint of air between them, mouths finding the other once more, ardent and desperate. He had one arm around her, holding her up and into him as tight as he could, needing to feel every part of her against every part of him, and his other hand roamed through her hair again. Her palms were pressed to his face, but moving and exploring his hair, his neck, his shoulders, the collar of his shirt and then inside the material. He shifted his weight again, his feet going into auto pilot and his arm lifting just enough of her gravity to slide them both towards the door of his office, and beyond, the bedroom.


	2. Chapter 2

A thud of a door closing somewhere woke Kate. She lay still for a moment, then opened her eyes wondering who was knocking on the front door. Except this wasn't her bedroom. Or bed. Or... She sat up, propped on an elbow, the other hand reaching to brush her hair from her face. A lot came back to her without warning and her head whipped around to look behind her. Castle was still asleep, lying perhaps appropriately in the recovery position, sheets around his waist but twisted under one leg and pushed down from his chest. She looked back again towards the bedroom doorway, her mouth open a little with realisation. She had to go. What as the time? Work! She was on shift at 8, and usually a call brought her in before that, but where was her cellphone? She slipped out of the bed, scooping underwear from the floor along with her pants, but no sign of her shirt. On that side of the room anyway. She wanted a shower, but wanted to get out - to the precinct - more. She pulled on the clothes she'd found and, glancing back at the bed, slid open one of the doors of the unit nearest her. Her luck was in and she pulled out a light blue shirt, also borrowing a belt hanging from a peg on one side. Shrugging it on and buttoning up, she went into the office and buckled the belt around her middle, listened for any signs of life on the other side of the door. It was deathly quiet, and she supposed at least Alexis may have already left - it was definitely the sound of a door closing that had woken her. She crept out into the living area, eyes scouting for her bag. There it was, on the floor, half under the couch. She grabbed it on the move, sweeping silently towards the front door. She opened it slowly and smoothly to avoid any noise and slipped out, looking back into the loft as she reached to pull the door closed - her eyes darted as she paused for a moment. Before she allowed any thoughts to enter her mind, she shut the door firmly but noiselessly and headed for the elevator.

* * *

><p>"Shit," Beckett mumbled under her breath. She'd made it to the precinct and had just about successfully convinced Gates that a plumbing emergency had prevented her timely arrival. She was eternally grateful that there hadn't been any earlier calls, and that both Esposito and Ryan weren't at their desks when she arrived feeling flustered and conspicuous and generally unlike herself. They were in the break room, however, at the coffee machine which she dearly wanted to make use of. And on top of that, she'd just clipped her gun on and realised her shield wasn't in her bag. It must be on the floor, under the couch, in Castle's apartment. Great.<p>

"Hey." She jumped. Ryan had crept up on her.

"Ryan, what the hell?"

He stood back. An eyebrow crept upwards. "Uh, sorry? Just wanted to give you a heads up," he ticked his head in the direction of the break room. "My partner would appreciate your consideration for the twenty jackhammers going off in his head this morning. Which he's kinda blaming you and Castle for."

"Oh. Sure," she leant forward to look around Ryan at Esposito, who was walking quite slowly towards his desk with a cup of what smelt like quadruple espresso. One corner of her mouth crept up a little, and she wondered if she'd see Lanie today to find out if there had been any calls. And whether they'd been of the please-take-me-back variety or the booty call variety.

She was blindsided by an flash of recollection - hands. In places.

Time for coffee.

Of course, that supposition was based on getting the damn machine working. As she disappeared in another cloud of steam and hissing and clunking levers, she wondered what she'd done in a past life to piss the machinery off. Eventually a dribble of dark coloured water appeared in the mug, but it took another round of pushing buttons and topping up water, and a moderate thump before she had something that smelt approximately like it contained enough caffeine to start the day. The machine had added insult to injury by being a gift from Castle, who she was stubbornly trying not to think about and yet who kept... just... appearing everywhere. The coffee machine, the dollar bill in her elephant's trunk, the question the guys hadn't yet asked. The damn shirt she was wearing that smelt like him. Whilst he hadn't actually physically appeared yet, there was just no escaping his presence and she really did not want to think about him, them, it right now. What she wouldn't do for a ph-

At which point, her desk phone rang.

"Beckett."

She listened for a minute, and waved Ryan and Esposito over. Only Ryan actually arrived by her desk.

"Ok. On my way." She hung up. "Foot patrol picked up a Jamal Khan for a misdemeanor, he's saying he has information for us on the Rakhi case." She grabbed the jacket on the back of the seat, checked her piece and then remembered her badge. "Dammit." She looked down for a moment, flipping through the bank of options in her mind - could she just borrow one? Could she claim it was lost and get another from Gates just for now? Nope, it wasn't going to work. She looked at Ryan, whose eyebrow didn't seem to have dropped all morning. He wasn't sure what was going on, but Beckett wasn't normally one to be flustered.

"Ryan, I'm sorry, you and Espo will have to go. My shield isn't here."

"Wha-"

"Look, I must have left it at home, I'll have to go and get it, ok, but this guy might not wait. If he's about to spill his guts we need to be there, or else he'll think about it too long and bottle out. I can meet you over there when I've got everything. Just go, will you?"

"Ok." He nodded, glanced back at Esposito, who was resting his forehead on the desk in front of him. "You got any Alka Seltzer around?"

* * *

><p>Beckett got a nod from the guard on the desk at Castle's building and went straight for the elevators. Her jaw was clenched, her muscles taught, and for all intents and purposes she looked like she was ready to arrest someone. She was mad. Mad at herself for letting her shield get left behind, Jesus what was she thinking, what had they had drummed into them at the academy from Day 1? The badge is everything. She wasn't a rookie, she was a detective. Mistakes like this were unforgivable. Imagine if Gates found out. There were a lot of things that she didn't want to think about Gates finding out.<p>

The elevator arrived at the right floor and she stepped out briskly, ignoring her misdirected anger for a moment when it occurred to her that she was about to see Castle and he'd probably want to have a long conversation of the kind she was desperate to avoid at the moment. She rang the bell and shifted her weight from foot to foot, trying for a moment to feel out what was going on in her mind. It felt as if anger weighed down one shoulder and then fear weighed on the other alternately, and her head was left feeling confused and worried in the middle. It wasn't good. And now, well, what to say when the door opened? With seconds to decide, she knew that sticking to the business at hand had to be the answer. She really had to get that shield, or she might miss an important break in the case. Maybe they could talk later. If she'd worked out what she wanted to say. Or felt. Oh, but he was going to want to tag along, wasn't he? Suddenly she was definitely angry again. He'd been working this case with her, so obviously he'd still want to be part of it. What was more annoying still was that she actually wanted his insight. It was getting increasingly difficult to see answers clearly without his lateral perspective, and, well, how dare he make himself so valuable to her job, the one she'd earned, dammit, all by herself. She stabbed a finger at the doorbell again. Where was he? She really wanted to get on with the day and he was holding her up now, on top of everything else. She rapped on the door, "CASTLE!". Still nothing. She pressed in the buzzer and left it there for a long ten seconds. Nada.

She gave up. He wasn't in. Or else he was hiding. Playing some sort of game, like the child he was. She barely managed to stop a low growl of frustration slipping out as she stalked back down the hallway, one ear on the space behind her in the hope that there may be the sound of a latch clicking and, perhaps, the sound of her name being called.

* * *

><p>Castle sat on a bench in the park and watched a tourist family getting a kick from feeding pigeons. Some people had a strange idea of fun. It was nice to get some air though, away from the loft, and the precinct. He was waiting for Alexis, who had a free period between 10 and 11, and had agreed to a chat a couple of hundred feet from her school. Some days he just couldn't pull together the notion of his daughter being such a well adjusted young woman, not when he knew the confusion of her early years, his own experimental parenting skills, and mostly the fact that she still had the dimples that made him see her as the sparky three year old in need of everything he could give her. Ultimately, he was so proud of her that she'd banned him from the most recent round of parent-teacher conferences after the embarrassment got too much for her last time.<p>

There she was now, on the path towards him, chatting to a friend. The friend peeled away down another route as they got closer, and he stood to greet her with a quick hug.

"Hey, Dad."

"Hey."

"Soooo..." she sat down, dropping her bag to one side and looking through it for a hairbrush. "...is everything ok? We haven't met during school since you had to tell me about your date with my Spanish teacher."

"No, it's quite alright, I have no dalliances to report to you today." He didn't make a habit of lying to Alexis, and god knows that was a big one, but since he himself didn't exactly know the whys, hows and what nexts just yet, it didn't seem right to discuss them.

Alexis looked at him with questioning eyes.

"The case we're on at the moment, the Rakhi Shah murder. I had an idea, but I need your help."

"Ok."

"One of your study buddies, I seem to recall, had very strict parents."

"Priya? Her parents are quite old fashioned, but I think most people might be a bit surprised by you greeting them dressed as a dalek."

"Well, that's as may be. I assume, by the by, that we're still on for our Doctor Who marathon this weekend?" He leaned into her for the aside.

"Yep! But slightly less of the old ones with cardboard sets this time, right?"

"Right. Anyway. Your friend Priya. I wondered if... well, firstly, she isn't... under any pressure at all, is she?"

"Pressure?" Her brow furrowed. "I don't think so. You mean because of her parents and the whole arranged marriage business in the case?"

He nodded.

"No, I don't think they're forcing her into anything, I mean I don't think she's allowed to date, but I don't think they're aggressive or anything..." She paused a moment, her brow furrowed a little at the thought of something she had never really considered before. "I can ask her, perhaps. We're not that close though. And she's been perfectly normal."

"Well I'm glad she seems ok. If there's any chance you can talk at some point... I didn't know if perhaps she could give us a little insight into why such a thing would happen. But I don't want her to get into any trouble, or you either for that matter." He leant forward again and kissed her forehead.

"I'll see what I can do," she smiled back at him. "Are you sure you're ok, Dad? Normally this sort of thing would wait until after school. Shouldn't you be with Beckett?"

"Well it's not like they're paying me, you know."

She stood, her bag falling into place on her shoulder as she smiled again. "Just don't let her get mad at you."

He smiled back, wondering if she had any idea of how significant she was being. Alexis turned away back towards her school, looking over her shoulder for a moment, "See you later, Dad!"

He waved, then leant back on the seat. A squirrel was taking the feed that the tourists had left. He was pretty sure that Beckett was going to be mad, whatever he did today.

* * *

><p>Beckett made her way back to the precinct, not knowing what else to do. Stifling her anger and drawing on a bit of courage, she'd tried Castle's cell but it went straight to voicemail. Either it was switched off or he was out of range. A quick call to Ryan to let him know she was going to be delayed - they were still trying to get the papers sorted to transfer the guy to the 12th - and she tried Castle again as she walked into the bullpen. No answer, still, but just as she was throwing together a few choice words in reaction she saw her desk, on top of which something glinted in the light through the windows. Her shield. She reached to grab it, and saw the paper underneath. Call you later, working on an idea x<p>

The anger dissolved into relief at the sight of the badge, and a tiny bit at the communication. Thank god. She dialled Ryan again to find out where they were at, and looked back at the note. An idea? Ryan picked up before she could follow the thought through, and she was headed back out again to meet her team at the main entrance, stuffing the note into her pocket as she went as an unconscious action.

She met Esposito, leading the man who she hoped was still willing to share the information he claimed he had, on the stairs on the way to an interrogation room. Espo was a little less pale, but no less unhappy, and he looked at her under hooded eyelids.

"This guy stinks, yo. And he hasn't stopped chatting all the way here. Whatever information he has had better be worth it. "

"Thanks, Espo. I'll take him from here."

"Are you in charge? Boss? You boss? I tell you lots, everything about Shah family, everything you want." The man was so keen he was practically tripping over himself as Beckett nudged him in the right direction, ignoring his rambling.

"Hey," she called after Esposito, "What was he stopped for?"

"Indecent exposure." He looked at her over his shoulder as he walked away. "Castle in yet?"

Beckett's wry smile drifted a little, "Nope." As she pointed the guy in front of her through the doorway of the interrogation room, her cell went off. She glanced at the caller and picked up, turning back out of the room and closing the door behind her. She listened for a moment, "I'll be right there." Calling back to Esposito to go through the questioning of their informer, she took her keys from the desk and made for the exit.

Which was when the elevator doors opened and she nearly walked directly into the nearly identically blue shirted chest of Castle. He raised his palms, and eyebrows, in surprise as she stepped back.

"Castle!" she exclaimed, shocked, embarrassed, and having another unexpected, and frankly unwelcome, flashback which also involved his chest. She'd just managed to clear her mind of him for a few minutes and then he went and turned up.

"Sorry, detective," he looked oddly uncomfortable for a moment, as all the lines he would normally use on her at this moment seemed crass given the last time they'd seen each other. She stepped past him, brushing her hair from her face and setting her jaw, and into the elevator. "Where are we headed?"

"I am headed to the hospital. Rakhi's sister's been assaulted."

She hit the ground floor button, and he stepped back quickly, falling in next to her before the doors clipped him. He turned his head to her.

"Is she ok?"

"They said she was in and out of consciousness with several fractures."

"Is her family with her?"

"They said she was brought in alone by ambulance, but I don't know if anyone was following. They would have called next of kin before us. Before me."

His look drifted back out in front again. That wasn't a great sign. But he hadn't really been expecting to be welcomed with open arms. He knew her too well for that, and he could see the flash of panic in her eyes which she thought she'd hidden.

"Do you think she'll talk?"

"Maybe. This could be the breaking point. Or it could just silence her permanently."

They walked out to the car, Beckett in front.

"I spoke to Alexis earlier," Castle started, reaching for the passenger door handle. Beckett stopped, her own hand on the door, and stared at him, her mouth dropping open slightly. "About the case," he added, hurriedly. "She has a friend who might be able to help us, or at least give us an idea of what we're up against."

"Castle, are you saying you've asked a minor for information which may actually leave her in a similar situation to the one we're on our way to?" She paused. "It's pretty obvious the levels to which this can go, did the murder not tip you off?" She slipped into the driver's seat as Castle moved into his. "God, Castle. Didn't you think that asking around could be dangerous for Alexis too?"

"Yes. But she's a smart girl. She reads people well. I trust her to make a judgment call."

Beckett put the car in gear and aggressively nudged into the traffic, picking up speed as she flicked the lights on. "Do you know how big this thing could be? We could be talking about a whole cultural community, Castle. Hundreds, maybe thousands of people who don't want us interfering with their practices. And you've asked teenagers to play Harriet the Spy, because this is all just a game to you, isn't it? Another one of your... games."

There was a heavy silence. She continued to swing the car in and out of the traffic, sweeping to a sharp halt on one side of the ambulance bay at Bellevue. They both got out, Castle slightly quicker than Beckett as she set the car into park. As she rose into the cool air, he leant over the roof for a moment.

"Kate. My daughter is not a game to me. And neither are you."


	3. Chapter 3

Castle stood outside the door of the exam room containing the broken, bruised and crying sister of their murder victim. On the advice of the nurse he had stayed out of the way, not wanting to scare the girl. She had apparently not reacted well to a male doctor wanting to examine her cheekbone fracture without warning. You couldn't blame her; her face was swollen, her ribs were cracked, and someone had stamped on her wrist. Beckett had asked to talk to her after getting the information on her injuries and seeking the permission of her aunt, who was the only family member present. So far. For reasons that weren't yet clear, the aunt had known enough to follow the ambulance to the hospital after her niece was picked up. Now she stood, also outside the room, all silent tears and restless hands. She hadn't reached for a cellphone yet though, Castle noticed. Whilst he'd been standing there, she hadn't spoken to anyone else at all, either on a phone or in person. She wouldn't even make eye contact. Inside the room, the soft whispers of Beckett talking to the injured girl were probably soothing, but in the bright fluorescence and antiseptic smell of the hallway it just added to the unsettled, fearful atmosphere.

"Excuse me?" He made sure his voice was soft and quiet as he tried to catch her attention. It was the approach you might take with a wounded animal which had to decide between fear and help. She looked at him then, eyes meeting for a moment.

"No... English." She waved a hand as if to brush him away, and buried her nose in a tissue with the other.

"I'm sorry about your niece." He pulled a sympathetic sort of face and gestured to the exam room. "It's good that you're here for her." He wasn't sure how much truth there was to her claim that she couldn't speak English, but she might be able to understand a little at least? Her eyes squeezed shut a little and more tears leaked out. He had a quick look around him and moved to grab a spare chair that was by an empty bed. He gestured to her as he slid it near, for her to sit down. She sank onto it in what would have been a grateful way were it not for the seemingly increasing amount of tears flowing down her face. She still clutched the tissue to her mouth, as if to stop sobs coming out. He could only look at her with the understanding that she was no willing party to the pain wreaked on her family in the last week. Perhaps, just perhaps...

He moved in front of a passing nurse, blocking her path in a way that did not please her in the slightest as she nearly lost a full urine sample from the tray she carried. "Oh, sorry. Would you happen to know, if I was in need of an interpreter-"

"Front desk." She pushed around him and continued on her way. He looked down at the lady sat on the chair again, and said, "I'll be right back," before striding off down the hall towards the admissions desk.

* * *

><p>Beckett emerged from the exam room, switching with a nurse who had a syringe of painkillers to administer. Outside in the hallway, neither Castle nor the girl's relative were to be seen. She took her cellphone from her pocket and walked to the front desk as she scrolled to Castle's number. As she pressed the phone to her ear, an admissions assistant leaned over the counter and tapped her shoulder.<p>

"Your colleague just went in there," she pointed at another exam room. "He asked for an interpreter for the lady with him, there's one on their way."

Beckett looked between her and the closed door. "Oh. Thanks."

What was he up to? Wait, the aunt. Had he actually managed to work his powers of charm on someone who didn't even speak the language now?She tapped lightly on the door and opened it up. Inside, Castle was perched slightly awkwardly on the edge of the hospital bed whilst the relative in question was wiping her nose in a chair nearby. "Castle, you got a minute?"

He nodded and gestured, again, that he was leaving but would return shortly. As he departed, he closed the door quietly behind him.

"What's going on?"

"I think she'll talk. I've got an interpreter coming from patient services, because she doesn't seem to speak much English."

"You think she knows?"

He nodded. "It's just a feeling."

"Ok," she looked straight up into his face, directly into his eyes and knew that he wasn't messing around. She'd seen the look very recently. It made her revisit the guilt for a moment. "I'll see if I can get an ETA on the interpreter and I'm going to get security on the door. We don't want anyone arriving and getting to her. Can you stay with her until we're ready to go? I can interview her here for the time being," she added, realising that the proximity to the beaten niece was key.

"Sure." He turned to go back into the room. "Oh, hey, how's the girl doing?"

"She'll be ok, Castle, and even better if we can get who did this."

He nodded at her, holding her gaze for a second longer. Then he turned back and disappeared inside.

Beckett moved off, putting in a call to get an officer as quickly as possible to stand guard. As she hung up, she felt a calm that hadn't been there yet that day. This was good; this was them as she knew it. They'd worked as a team, using their different strengths applied to the situation, breaking the case open - she hoped - and it just felt so easy. Like it was meant to be. Who was to say that, maybe, just maybe, it could always feel this way. The two of them. She wasn't a fool. She knew that it had felt like that at one time last night. It had been so natural. So right. Simple.

That was what was so terrifying. It wasn't meant to be easy, was it?

* * *

><p>It was dark by the time the four of them regrouped, standing in the cold night air outside a grocery store as beat cops put the brother and two cousins of Rakhi Shah into police vans. The team wore their vests, having taken part in the raid which had followed the slow and pained interview of Surinder Dattani, the tearful aunt that Castle had helped convince to share what she knew for the sake of her family. She was still at the hospital, not wanting to leave her niece. Beckett had upped the protective detail given the arrests they would be making on the back of the new information. She was pretty sure that Mrs Dattani didn't have an idea at the moment of how her life could change, that there was even a chance that she would have to look into a different identity or a cross-country move, but she hoped that she would always know her sacrifice probably saved lives.<p>

Castle stood slightly seperate from them, finishing a phone call from Alexis. He hadn't said it was her, but it was always obvious to Kate - his body language changed when he was playing the dad role. She allowed herself a moment's indulgence, watching him with the blues and reds bouncing on the white 'Writer' logo, his broad shoulders filling the vest out, the crinkles at his eyes as he smiled... She even, for a split second, allowed herself to recall just how good last night had been. Better than she'd expected. God, she was behaving like a teenager. She snapped her head back to Ryan and Esposito.

"...all he had was the guy importing juice illegally. Juice. You had us in that room with him nearly all afternoon-"

"Which did NOT smell good by the way. I had to take a shower."

"-and then Castle bats his eyes at some lady and suddenly we got everything we need."

"Do you think he does lessons?"

Beckett laughed and looked down at her feet as Castle's shadow fell over them as he rejoined the group.

"Detective Ryan, speaking as one who has been married twice, can I recommend that you save your charms for your future wife only. It'll save you a lot of money later."

They split off in the direction of their cars to head back to the twelfth. Castle fell into step next to Kate.

"Alexis ok?"

"Mmhmm. I just wanted to check. And tell her we got the guys so she didn't need to, uh, ask any questions."

"Castle, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply your parenting-"

He was shaking his head, and raised a hand to stop her mid-apology.

"Apology accepted. It was a little foolish on my part, but you had other things on your mind."

They got into the car in a settled silence, not quite comfortable but not quite uncomfortable either.

* * *

><p>When they got back, Beckett went to check in with Gates and fill her in on the results of their investigation. Castle had turned down the chance to join her and take his credit, which was slightly unusual, and simply said he wanted to get home for an early night. He'd got back into the elevator and gone. She wasn't sure what to make of it. Any number of possibilities ran through her mind in the space of seconds: was he mad? Was he expecting her to go round afterwards? Was he sad, or frustrated with her avoidance? Was he just giving her space? Which he thought she wanted? Did she?<p>

The captain interrupted her thoughts as she stared at the closed elevator doors, and called her into the office. The brief oral report Beckett gave prompted the captain to suggest the case report should go to the FBI, as it was clear that the problem extended beyond this one murder and warranted a bigger investigation across state lines. Beckett was inclined to agree, and since she'd closed their one case successfully she was happy for the hard work to go higher and hopefully prevent more killing in the name of honor.

Saying her farewells for the day to the guys, she collected her belongings from the desk and rearranged her hair for a moment in the glass of the window. She was looking forward to a night on the couch with a glass of wine and something inane on the tv. All of a sudden, there it was again, another memory of another couch and flesh and heat and- Wait, was that Castle standing on the sidewalk? She'd got to the exit with colour in her cheeks from the unexpected recollection, and sure enough there was the subject of her blushes, long coat on and looking out towards the road, unaware of her presence for a second until he turned around and caught her stopped still on the step.

"Hi," he smiled at her.

"Castle? I thought you went home?"

"I lied."

"I'm sorry?"

"I lied. I told an untruth. I misrepresented myself. I had a verbal malfunction."

Kate shook her head a little.

"What are you doing here?"

"Waiting for you."

"But... Why?"

"Come on, Kate. I'm taking you for a drink."

"Uh, Castle," she was flustered, unsure what was going on, and it was written in her face and in her movement, "I'm not sure..."

"A soft drink." He looked down on her, exploiting the height difference with a look that was somewhere between 'you don't have a choice' and 'puppy dog pleading'. She acquiesced ever so slightly and allowed her feet to start moving alongside his, walking slowly down the sidewalk. They moved in silence for a minute, as her brain raced trying to understand what was going on and what exactly she wanted to go on, and he let a cool calmness of certainty and control settle over him.

She stopped abruptly in the middle of the sidewalk and faced him. "Castle."

He stopped as she touched him on the arm, and looked at her. He could see the panic on her face and the fear in her eyes, and she suddenly looked so small and young and confused that he nearly let a laugh slip out for a moment as he thought of a child whose ice cream had been taken by a seagull. It was the desperation in her look that meant the laughter only flicked through his eyes, too quick to be noticed. The urge to pull her to him and make everything right consumed him instead. But it would be too much right now. And it wouldn't make that look go away.

"Kate, we're going to talk about this."

"I... Castle..."

"We're going to do this tonight. I know," he put his hand over hers, which was still hovering from the touch she'd stopped him with, "that you don't want to. I know you'd much rather we just pretended it never happened. I know you're afraid."

She bit her bottom lip and looked away, feeling a rush of tears flooding her lower eyelids and threatening to spill over.

"But Kate. I can't have this be another 3 months of ignoring what's happened. Not again. I don't think you can either."

She still looked away, and he raised a hand and touched the underside of her chin with a finger, slowly drawing her to look at him. The look on her face said that she knew he was right, and he fought the urge to pull a little more and bring her face to his. He moved his hand to the side of her head instead, brushing through her hair momentarily before slipped away again and taking her hand. He moved her arm gently through the crook of his, and took them both onwards through the night. He wasn't going to make this conversation happen in the middle of a sidewalk with people knocking them as they rushed home. He knew a coffee house on a nearby corner, which had the warmth and just enough privacy, on neutral ground for them both.

Kate remained silent for the walk and let herself be guided into a soft-cushioned booth in the coffee shop. It was cosy, in a good way, and smelt wonderful. Castle left her to order drinks, and just as she thought that, despite the aroma, maybe she'd really rather not have a large dose of caffeine at the end of the day, he arrived back with two enormous mugs on top of which floated a melting marshmallow - hot chocolate.

"Here. I don't know about you, but I'm in need of some sleep tonight."

She glanced at him, guardedly. Was he teasing? But he was open faced when she looked, it wasn't a wink and a nudge comment. He slid into the booth opposite her. She took a breath and tried to collect everything rushing around her brain, because she desperately wanted to be in control of this conversation.

"Castle. Last night, we'd had a drink..."

"Oh no. I'm sorry, but you're not getting out of this that easily," he raised his mug and blew a little across the surface. He settled it back on the table before she could say anything in return, "You know as well as I do that last night wasn't about alcohol." He breathed out, mirroring the breath in Kate had taken moments before. "Last night wasn't a mistake," he let a hand slide across the table and wrapped one of hers up in it, "or a one night stand, or something I will ever forget. And that wasn't just me in my bed last night, Kate. You were there as much as I was."

She saw them together, their limbs tangled and skin shining with heat as they tumbled through sheets, raw and animal and pure.

"It's not something you need to regret. I know you're scared. But you don't need to be afraid of this."

"I do." She whispered into her chocolate, "Castle, I've got everything to be afraid of."

"What? What is it you're scared of?" He paused, waiting for an answer although he didn't expect one, her lips squeezed together and eyes down. "I know you. I know you've been to dark places and felt like you'd never escape them, and I know part of you will always be lost to that darkness. I'll do whatever I can to help you get closure with your mother's case, and everything that's happened because of it. You know I will. We can do this together, we can work out how to let you be the person you want to be. But you need to let me help you. I can't help you if we don't acknowledge what is going on here." He paused for a moment, "Kate, I love you."

She couldn't avoid him when he said it, and she saw her own reflection in his eyes as she stared, knowing he wasn't saying this under the pressure of a bullet working its way through her heart, knowing that she couldn't deny him his confession this time.

"I love you, and I'm saying this because you'll hear it now."

Her hand was warm under his and the warmth crept up her arm, across her chest and into her head. She could feel it inside her, the inevitability that she too would say those words to him, one day. Not today. But it would happen. And it was the first time she'd felt reassured by that. She couldn't break the look between them as she thought about everything he'd said. She knew she had made progress since the day she'd tracked him down at his book signing, and he'd been so mad with her. Rightfully so. And since they'd sat on swings and worked out where they stood at that moment, with his accedence and understanding, and the work of a good therapist, she'd come to a point of realizing that the thing within her that she referred to as a wall was something that perhaps was never going to go away completely. It was a part of her. But enough of it had cracked and buckled to see who was sitting opposite her. And if the previous night had been anything to go by, muffling the brain and listening to her heart instead seemed to make things easier.

She had been quiet for what felt like hours to Castle, and he didn't know what to make of it. His self-assurance was starting to dissolve as she still said nothing, and he was on the verge of giving in to fear when she spoke.

"I heard you before."

They were both quiet again, absorbing what she'd said. He started to open his mouth to say something, thrown by the revelation and not yet sure just how much it was going to hurt; like when you cut yourself with a sharp knife and see the blood before feeling the pain. But she got there before him.

"I remembered as soon as I came round from the anaesthetic. And," her hand moved beneath his, "I'm sorry that I lied to you about it."

His face had fallen in the same way she'd seen months ago in the hospital room, and she knew she'd pulled the rug from under his feet. But if she was going to entertain this idea, she had to tell him the truth.

"Castle, at the time, I just... It was all too much. Everything that happened. Everything was slipping away again, and I didn't feel in control of any of it. You were the only solid thing I had," her other hand crept across the table and over the top of his as she leant forward in earnest, "I was terrified of anything else changing. I couldn't cope with what you said and..."

She shook her head, her eyes dropping to their piled hands, suddenly afraid again because his expression was unmoved, and she knew again how much she had hurt him that summer.

"Rick, if I didn't get away from everything for a few months, I wouldn't be here now."

"I know that," he replied. And truth was he did understand, as much as anyone could, that if you had to relive the murder of your mother over and over, then lose someone else who had taken a near-parental role in your life, then survive your own murder attempt - of course there was going to be fallout. In many ways her strength constantly overwhelmed him, but the weaknesses she had become comfortable sharing with him were some of the things he loved the most about her. The fact she wasn't willing to let him in when she was at her lowest was one of many reasons he'd spent his summer feeling lost, angry, and grieving for someone who had survived. It did hurt to know that all the subsequent pain of his lost confession was actually unwarranted - she had heard him, she did remember - but it hurt like a bruise, not like a cut from that knife. It would heal. It was more important to him that, right now, they were talking. They were saying things that had been unsaid for too long.

"Drink your chocolate." He nodded at the cup. "It'll get cold."

She smiled, the first one he'd had from her all day, and untangled her hands to raise the mug. He helped himself to a stirrer and scooped bits of marshmallow into his mouth, smiling back. The tension in the air had risen like the steam from their drinks. The comfortable silence reigned for some minutes, but their eyes danced together across the table. Before long they were finished, and Castle dug through a pocket for some change, dropping the coins next to the empty mugs. He leaned forward then, over the table, closing the gap between them.

"Come home with me. No funny business, you take the guest room. I just don't want you to go home alone tonight."

A moment's pause, then, "Sure."

As he slipped out of the booth, he reached a hand out and took hers, helping her out until she stood and expected his hand to fall away, except it didn't. He hung on tight, raised a hand of farewell to the counter staff, then walked her out into the night air. She stopped, again, a few steps outside the doorway, and looked at him.

"I still need some time, Castle."

He gazed back at her, a small smile on one corner of his mouth - this was his Kate, taking the reigns back again.

"I know. One day at a time?" He offered the compromise. She gazed back, leaving enough of a pause to let him know that she was stepping off the high dive.

"Ok. One day at a time."

Their hands hadn't parted, and how they both wished at that moment that there had been enough courage left in the reserves for something more than the entwining of fingers. But one day, very soon, they'd get there. They could each live with one day.

A/N: Reviews and follows very much appreciated, I have more stories in the works having been bitten by the bug now so I hope to follow this before too long :)


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